Two more months and it’s 2015 what the fuck
I swear it was 2012 and we were all freaking out about the world ending like three months ago
Yeah and I actually had my life together. What a good twelve months that was.
Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.
Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men — friends, co-workers, strangers — giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them.
Gone Girl - Gillian Flynn
[…] a section that has sparked its fair share of self-reflection, discomfort and controversy… a sharp critique of both men and women… pointed, concise, cultural criticism.
… acknowledges that this Cool Girl is a part she plays, a part that many women play. A non-threatening idea of femininity that she ultimately resents. Her critique is of the women, but it is also of the men. Men who are so drunk on their own image and idea of what women should be that they’ve made a trope: the Cool Girl. The spoiler is that the Cool Girl is not actually real.
The Cool Girl never nags, or “just wants one” of your chili fries, because she orders a giant order for herself. She’s an ideal that matches the times—a mix of feminism and passivity, of confidence and femininity. She knows what she wants, and what she wants is to hang out with the guys.
Cool Girls don’t have the hang-ups of normal girls: They don’t get bogged down by the patriarchy, or worrying about their weight. They’re basically dudes masquerading in beautiful women’s bodies, reaping the privileges of both. But let’s be clear: It’s a performance. It might not be a conscious one, but it’s the way our society implicitly instructs young women on how to be awesome: Be chill and don’t be a downer, act like a dude but look like a supermodel.
I remember exactly where I was when I first heard the “Cool Girl” passage from Gillian Flynn’s Gone Girl… I think the main thing I so strongly identified with about the Cool Girl is her skill at adroitly navigating male spaces, which is something I prided myself on when I was younger.
In its most platonic form, being a Cool Girl means you have been marked as an exception to your gender, that you’ve received some elusive form of validation from male society. I first received this validation long before Gone Girl came out, when my boyfriend’s friend drunkenly came up to me after I’d made a poop joke and said, “You know, you’re not like other girls.”
If someone said this to me today, I’d probably respond with, “Wow, you’re an idiot. How many girls have you actually hung out with?” But at the time, I felt oddly gratified to be included in this category of “other girls,” who didn’t backstab or gossip or make Sex and the City references or wince at dirty jokes. Therein lies the slippery seductiveness of the Cool Girl: You are an exception, an anomaly, the 21st century of the “Good Negro”: You are different, and therefore better, than the other members of your gender.
But I also think the Cool Girl gets a bit of a bad rap, and we shouldn’t be so quick to castigate her. In order to criticize the Cool Girl, we have to ask ourselves why and how the trope became so prevalent, which involves deconstructing the sociocultural context from whence she came…
The argument that a woman who is both attractive and interested in what we traditionally think of as “male” activities can only do so because she’s desperate for male attention… also kinda makes me think: So the fuck what? So the fuck what if a woman is pretending to like the Detroit Lions because she wants some guy she’s interested in to think she’s cool?
Let’s say that the Cool Girl is, in fact, pure “performance.” Guess what? Literally all tropes and personality types you encounter in your youth are. This is something literally everyone, regardless of gender, does at various points in their life: They try on various identities and affiliations for size, until they find something that suits them.
When you’re at the pool lounging on a beach chair and some little kids are running and the lifeguard screams out “no running” do you respond “excuse me, not all of us are running”? No, you don’t. The lifeguard didn’t have to specifically state who they were talking to because you’re intelligent enough to comprehend that the comment wasn’t being directed at you.
Found a quote that shuts down that “not all men” argument pretty well. (via mykicks)
AHaha. haaaa. hh.